Sex Stories

The Sailing Sermon

A young pastor was once asked to preach a sermon on sex. Being somewhat reserved he found himself embarrassed when he came to write the word “sex” in his notes while preparing his sermon. To remove this discomfort he decided to simply put the letter “S” wherever the word “sex” was to be used.

During his preparation the young pastor’s wife came in and looked over his shoulder. She noticed the letter “S” planted liberally throughout the text and asked him what the topic for the sermon was. Embarrassed even to tell his wife the topic the young pastor said, “s…s…sailing! That’s what the sermon’s about, sailing.”

His wife thought it a bit of an odd topic for a sermon, but guessed sailing might form a good analogy to the Christian life.

Come Sunday the young pastor’s wife was sick with the flu and missed church. Her husband however preached a terrific sermon. Although he started nervously he warmed to the topic as the sermon progressed and handled the matter most tactfully and helpfully.

During the following week a member of the congregation was speaking to the young pastor’s wife. “Oh your husband preached a beautiful sermon last Sunday. He handled a difficult topic most sensibly and I found what he had to say rather helpful.”

“Well that is a surprise” said the young pastor’s wife. “I’m afraid I didn’t think he’d be of much help to anybody. After all, he’s only ever done it twice, and both time she went right overboard !”

Source: unknown

Good Luck Mr Gonsky

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind,” were televised to Earth and heard by millions. Urban legend has it that just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On 5 July, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball, which landed in his neighbour’s yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbours were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs.Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Sex! You want sex?! You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

Source: reported at The Independent Jokes Page

Eyes Wide Shut

One of the most talked about films of 1999 was Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. It was Stanley Kubrick’s final film, and one in which he explores the nature of sexuality, desire and intimacy. It’s also very explicit.

Tom Cruise plays a successful young doctor, Bill Harford and Kidman plays his wife, Alice. They’ve been married nine years, have a daughter, have money, and seemingly have it all.

Then one night at a party both engage in a bit of flirtation. When they get home Alice reveals that she once had a very powerful sexual fantasy about a man she saw in a hotel. She’d never met the man before, she never acted on the fantasy, but it seemed so powerful she had actually imagined herself leaving Bill to pursue it. Bill is shocked, and throughout the rest of the film we find himself giving in to his own desires. He has an encounter with a prostitute, and as he spirals further and further into a web of depravity, he ends up at an invitation-only orgy that exposes him to the extremes of sexual desire and almost gets him killed.

Paralleling Bill’s sexual journey is the declining intimacy in his marriage. The sexual tension and deceit push Bill and Alice further apart, until towards the end of the movie they both realise just how destructive this sexual web has been, how close they’ve come to surrendering all that is good in their relationship. The film closes with an act of forgiveness in which Alice tells Bill that she loves him and that they need to make love.

Critics debate exactly what Kubrick was trying to say in the movie, but I think that one of the messages is the power of sexual desire to be constructive and destructive in our relationships. We learn that dark sexual desire lurks in the most unsuspected places – in ourselves, in our partners, in the very everyday people around us. Kubric wants us to see how powerful these are, how they can ensnare even the best of us. We discover that darker sexual desires can be exhilarating when fulfilled, but that they are ultimately empty when compared to the genuine emotional intimacy of a good marriage relationship. And I think the end of the movie makes clear the need to preserve our marriages from sexual depravity through a passionate pursuit of desire within the relationship.